Christmas is all about togetherness, love, warmth and connection, yet for many young people December is actually the most difficult month of the year. While everyone around them is celebrating, they struggle with loneliness that no one notices, high expectations, and a sense of not being understood. Alessia, a former fellow and now an expert by experience at Yes We Can, knows this feeling better than anyone.
These days, Christmas looks warm and cosy for Alessia – spending time with family, friends and her little boy, reminiscing and enjoying each other’s presence. But it hasn’t always been that way. “I never felt safe at home when I was younger, so Christmas was a heavy moment for me. I actually wanted to escape it as much as possible.” Time after time, she put on a mask; it had to look fun for the outside world. Alessia felt lonely, surrounded by people who didn’t support or understand her.
That loneliness is something many young people recognise, especially in December. “On the outside everything looks cheerful, but inside you feel dark. You’re there, but you don’t feel connected to the people around you.” In a season centred on warmth and celebration, those feelings can hit even harder.
For years, Christmas was something Alessia would rather run away from, because no one saw how alone she really felt. But during her treatment at Yes We Can, something happened that she had never experienced before: she was truly seen. “I learnt that it’s okay to have a bad day, that I’m allowed to talk to people with whom I feel safe and trusted. I don’t have to carry everything on my own, whereas before I always felt I had to solve everything myself.” Alessia discovered the power of sharing. It turned out to be the greatest gift she could give herself. “I gained more self-confidence and started to love myself.”
Even if your stories are completely different, you share the experience of not having felt okay. That gives such a strong sense of togetherness.
Connection is at the heart of Yes We Can, especially at Christmas. According to Alessia, it is one of the most special moments of the year. “Even if your stories are completely different, you share the experience of not having felt okay. You don’t have to explain anything. One look is enough: I understand you. That gives such a strong sense of togetherness.”
What does Alessia hope young people take with them after leaving Yes We Can? “That they gain trust in themselves. That they feel that who they are is okay, because so many of these young people have been told they’re not enough or that they should do better. I hope they learn here how to love themselves again, even if just a little.”
The greatest thing you can do for someone is to truly listen and be there for them. In that simplicity lies the power of Alessia’s Christmas message for anyone who is struggling: “Even if it feels like you’re on your own, you’re not alone. A lighter time really will come again. Hold on to that spark of hope. You don’t have to do it by yourself.”
